Press Release

Being a good listener can protect your child from underage drinking

Jean Countryman

“Do what I say, not what I do”, “Practice what you preach”, “What would you do if”, “Put your money where your mouth is”, “Actions speak louder than words”…..

Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you? What do they mean to you? How do they relate to adolescent drug and alcohol use and the “Start Talking Before They Start Drinking” campaign? How can we help adolescents make good decisions regarding drug and alcohol use?

My best advice is COMMUNICATE – TALK TO THEM – well, more specifically talk WITH them and listen TO them.

• Have regular conversations about what is happening at school, with their friends;
• Find out what they are doing – when, where, with whom;
• Share with them what you are doing and how you make decisions about what you do;
• Play the “What would you do” game: ask your child “what would you do if” and describe a challenging situation they could find themselves in and see how they would handle it. For example:
• You are at a party or gathering and others start drinking or using drugs…
• You find out the driver of the car has been using…
• You are invited to a party where you think there will be drugs or alcohol…
• You are invited to go camping in the hills…
• Someone pressures you to use drugs or to have sex…
• You see bullying and harassment taking place…
• Someone harasses you…
• Someone threatens you…
• Someone you are with shoplifts…

Give them time to think about their answer. Praise their good ideas and discuss. Forewarned is forearmed: if they have already thought of ways to respond to challenging situations they are more likely to actually use those ways and thereby avoid negative consequences. Explain why you are concerned about these things: the consequences to their body, their mental state, their emotional state, their safety, their future, etc.

I remember my father often telling me to “Do what I say not what I do” and I always wondered why I had to but he didn’t, why didn’t he “Practice what he preached”? If it was bad for me wasn’t it also bad for him? Why were there different standards? After all, “Actions speak louder than words” so he should be following his own advice. It is so much more effective for our kids to see us doing what we say – “putting our money where our mouth is” - so to speak. It shows them clearly that we believe in what we are saying to them.

I believe communication and teaching by example are two of the most effective tools to combat inappropriate and illegal behavior. Keep talking, keep LISTENING, and keep discussing and sharing with each other. It will pay off.

Jean Countryman is a counselor at Ellensburg High School.

The Kittitas County Community Network/Drug Free Communities Coalition and the Community Network agency, through a federal Drug Free Communities grant, are implementing the “Start Talking Before They Start Drinking” campaign as a community service for parents. For more information go to www.kccn-dfc.com.