Press Release

Tune Into Your Teen

My name is Kim Smith and my husband Rich and I are the parents of two daughters in eighth and fifth grade. As a parent I feel it is an important to be informed about underage drinking issues and I found the following information to be helpful.

The common thread among teens that do well academically and socially, and stay healthy and drug free, is that they have close relationships with their parents. These teens report that their parents are interested in them, in what they do and in whom they know. They also say their parents are curious about their lives and their ideas. They feel connected, because their parents listen to them and take time to find out what’s going on in their world.

This only makes sense. Teens who are close to their parents or a trusted adult caregiver have more at stake when it comes to decisions about risk-taking. At that moment of truth when they are confronted with a risky choice, they don’t want to disappoint their parents or betray their trust. They are also more open to their parents’ advice. In fact, if you are connected, supportive and responsive to your teen, it will be much easier for you to take on the tougher parts of parenting, such as setting rules and discipline. You can simply be a strict parent, but your teens won’t have lasting respect for your rules unless they believe that you also care for them.

Here are some ways to foster a close relationship with your teen:

· Spend time together regularly, doing things your teen enjoys.

· Talk openly and honestly.

· Use positive communication skills, especially when there is conflict. For example, think before you speak and acknowledge your teen’s point-of-view so he or she knows you are listening.

· Acknowledge the positive qualities and behaviors of your teenager.

It’s true that sometimes staying connected is easier said than done. How can you get through when your teen is resentful or argumentative? Remember that nearly all teens are working toward independence. They can’t develop their own minds unless they challenge things you and others have taught them. So they will often argue just for the sake of disagreeing. It’s their way of forming an identity. However, even when they are giving you a hard time, they are probably listening and remembering. So keep your messages brief, but don’t stop talking and reaching out. Understand them by observing and respect them by listening.

A Checklist for tuning into your teen:

• Do you praise your teen for accomplishments, even the small ones?
• Do you spend time each day talking with your teenager?
• Do you regularly have meals with your teen and other family members?
• Are you familiar with your teen’s favorite interests and hobbies?
• Do you know your teen’s friends?

Information in this article was found in Navigating the Teen Years, written by the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign. You can also find this entire publication at www.kccn-dfc.com.

The Kittitas County Community Network/Drug Free Communities Coalition and the Community Network agency, through a federal Drug Free Communities grant, are implementing the “Start Talking Before They Start Drinking” campaign as a community service for parents. For more information go to www.kccn-dfc.com.