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Respect Your Teen
My name is Sheryl Leavitt
and I am a parent of three children ages 19, 23, and 26. As a parent I feel it is important to be
informed about underage drinking issues and I found the following information
to be helpful.
Respect. It’s all any teenager really wants, isn’t it? As
teens work on gaining independence, they want opportunities to assert their own
identities and make their own decisions. They’re craving respect for their
ideas, opinions and beliefs.
But showing respect can be hard,
especially when you are frustrated. Respect is a two-way street, and teens are
very concerned about fairness. When you’re disrespectful, they will probably
respond in-kind. You don’t have to agree all the time to show respect, but try
to listen and treat them fairly.
Research shows that parents who respect
their teen’s individuality help prevent risk-taking and protect their kids
against depression and other problems. On the other hand, when parents try to control
their teen’s beliefs or stifle their opinions, it can undermine confidence and
lead to other emotional problems. Moreover, if you don’t respect your teen, she
or he is not likely to respect her or himself either. A young person without
self-respect is vulnerable to risk-taking and the need to “fit in.”
Here’s how to build respect in your relationship
with your teen:
·
Stay
involved, but give your teen the privacy and space to be an individual.
·
Encourage
your teen to develop and express his or her own opinions and ideas.
·
Don’t
be dismissive of your teen’s beliefs if you don’t agree with them. Instead, learn to engage your teen in a
healthy debate.
·
Make
time to listen and be responsive to your teen’s fears and concerns.
·
When
you have to criticize or discipline your teen, focus on the behavior, not on
your teen. Don’t call your teen names or use hurtful language.
·
Don’t
belittle your teens’ way of dressing or their taste in music or entertainment.
·
Appreciate
and acknowledge your teen’s unique interests, skills and strengths.
TIP: Teens also need to learn to respect themselves. If
your teen seems worried about fitting in, use the opportunity to appeal to the
value your
teen places on independence. Acknowledge
the pressures he or she
faces and emphasize the importance of individuality
and independent thinking.
Respecting
your teen checklist:
·
Do you ask
about and respect your teen’s worries and concerns?
·
When you
disagree with your teen, do you take the time to listen?
·
Are you
respectful of your teen’s friends and taste in music or clothes?
·
Do you take
care to treat each of your children as distinct individuals?
“Teens
Information in this
article was found in Navigating the Teen
Years, written by the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign. You can also find this entire publication at
www.kccn-dfc.com.
The Kittitas County
Community Network/Drug Free Communities Coalition and the Community Network
agency, through a federal Drug Free Communities grant, are implementing the
“Start Talking Before They Start Drinking” campaign as a community service for
parents. For more information go to
www.kccn-dfc.com.
